Results over perfection was the slogan of Fingerpainting United and there was no shortage of results. Producing drab concoctions of questionable value, the club members spent their days crafting pasta necklaces, spoon mobiles, plastic fork wind catchers, and highly expressive whimsical paintings using whichever part of their body chose to be naked at the moment, but most often it was either their fingers or their elbows. The list did not stop there, of course – there were so many things missing in the world – phone, tablet, laptop and server covers, animal jackets, bow ties and tiny top hats, calendars, pen sleeves, six inch rusty organic railway bookends, organic wristbands and friendship bracelets – it was endless and so was the need to craft organisers for such lists.
The consensus was that they were onto something and that everyone was having jolly good time and the club grew at a rapid pace as there was no shortage of mediocrity in the world. Soon, the club celebrated its hundredth member and, shortly thereafter, the one thousandth. They moved their meetings from basements to hangars and the arts supplies for the meetings were brought in on trucks. With everyone finally creating art, the movement was compared to that of the fifteenth century renaissance where smart men but not so many women had done very much the same but they didn’t have pasta or plastic forks so they had to do many things just in their heads.
Moving to flea markets was a commercial success. The fingerpainters were met with wildfiresque excitement, the knick knacks selling for exorbitant prices as most of the club members still had “real” jobs they hoped to abandon once their art took off. There was a decent amount of time going into the craft and thus it was essential it was also priced appropriately to avoid putting other artists just like them out of the market.
Next came the pop-up shops (also wildly successful) and then fingerpainters hopped onto teleshopping and, finally, an exclusive deal was signed with a major landfill operator, cutting out the middle men and women and connecting the artist directly to the ultimate consumer.
The feature film documenting the movement won 12 oscars, 18 baftas and a bucket of grammys, all masterfully crafted of pasta.