Not one but whole two air conditioners were pointed at the golden throne.

One directly underneath it and the other from behind, rustling king’s rusty, waning mane. Despite it, million humble currents of sweat ran down king’s massive head, gaining volume as they went around his plump cheeks and then snaked their way through the eddies and folds of the quadruple chins, to then disappear under king’s best orange-stripy suit and emerge at the other end of his trousers, running over two naked hairy feet and down to the floor of the castle’s main hall where the chair sat. King Donald was not sweating profusely, he was becoming a force majeure of local scale. He was giving birth to an ocean.

“Offfff,” he shrieked, his head swollen red in anger. “Off, with their heads!” He then paused, squinting, and a whistling squeak came out of his bottom, the royal blessing gratuitously propelled through air by the two conditioners.

“But, my liege…” a scruffy subject in a white lab coat and two coke bottles for glasses, foolishly tried to object. “They are starfish, they have no—”

“And this one one, too.”

“My liege?”

“My leeeeeeezh,” wiping forehead, king mocked the man impatiently. Heavy from drenched in sweat, his hand fell back on the chair handle with a splat. Court jester had been beheaded the day before, after making a global warming joke. “Are you a starfish?”

“No, my l—”

“Here we go then.”

A set of jambly patterns started shuffling towards the lab coat, the shapes becoming distinguishable as they approached. It was two men dressed in adaptive camouflage to their teeth. One kicked the scruffy subject in the stomach and the other one smashed his glasses. Then, one of them pulled out a revolver, loaded in a single bullet, and they started a one player game of russian roulette.

King let out an amused cackle.

“Starfish…” he muttered, bobbing his head in disbelief. The crap he had to listen to these days. His eyes trailed around the hall looking for a new attraction. King oohed as they fell on the button embedded in the golden chair, and pressed the button. Ticking, the rotary digits next to the button rolled from 36 to 37. Soon after the windows started trembling. There was a swoosh sound as a rocket carrying atomic load rose into the sky and then all was silent again.